The Monreal Funeral Home is available afterwards.....We support bereavement support. We donated books to the Eastlake Public Library in support of the well-being of our families. Because we care, we are providing you with the list of books that we have donated.
- "Does Anyone Else Hurt This Bad And Live?" by Carlene Vester Eneroth
- "The Fall Of Freddie The Leaf." by Dr. Leo Buscaglia
- "Remembering With Love." by E. Levang and S. Lise
- "What Helped Me When My Loved One Died." by Earl A. Grollman
- "Life After Loss." by Bob Deits
- "When Parents Die: A guide for Adults." by Edward Myers
- "Why Are The Casseroles Always Tuna?" by Darcie D. Sims
- "Empty Cradle, Broken Heart." by Deborah L. Davis
- "Recovering From The Loss Of A Loved One To AIDS." by Katherine Fair Donnelly
- "Words I Never Thought To Speak." by Victoria Alexander
- "Holiday Help" by Sherry Gibson
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- Beware of becoming critical of ourselves, either consciously or unconsciously, due to unrealistic expectations.
- It may be the time to struggle with new life patterns. We may have handled grief by over activity (workaholic, etc.). If our previous style of grieving has not been helpful, we must be willing to try new approaches such as: become more active in a support group; find telephone friends; read about grief; develop coping skills; become determined not to become stuck in our grief; do our grief work; HOLD ON TO HOPE.
- We should carefully consider the phases of grief. One or more phases may be giving us trouble, such as anger or guilt. If so, recognize the phase and work on it. Don't push it down or ignore it.
- You may or may not cry as often, as you did at first, but when you do, realize it is therapeutic. Don't fight the tears. As the author Jean G. Jones says in TIME OUT FOR GRIEF, "cry when you have to - laugh when you can."
- Physical symptoms may become more acute (stomach disorders, headaches, sleeplessness). Have a checkup.
- Check frequently that you have balance in your life -- work, recreation (including exercise, hobbies, reading) adequate rest and prayer.
- Our grief may seem "out of control." We may feel as if we are "going crazy." This is common to bereaved people. It is important to realize grief work takes time. Much more time than we think it should. Be patient with yourself.
- We often hear "Time will heal". Yes, time does soften the hurt a bit, but mainly it is what we do with time: read, talk, struggle with the phases, get help when we become stuck in a phase, be gentle with ourselves, lower our expectations, build a pleasant time with family and friends, pray to our loved one.
- It helps to consider that our loved ones are happy - free of pain and hassles - that we will be together again. Also, if you died, would you want your loved ones to mourn deeply the rest of their lives? You would want them to enjoy life as much as possible. They want this for you.
- Loneliness may seem to engulf us as we look ahead to a life without our loved one. Find new friends, worthwhile work (support groups always need help with phoning, mailings, research, etc.) And connect with friends from the past. Pleasant memories can help, too.
- WHY?? If the "why" is bothering you, ask it again and again until you can come to terms with it. You may never know why. It may remain a mystery that you choose to let go. When you can, concentrate on your choice to get better.
- So many of us have been brought up to be independent; "I'm going to handle this grief myself." We find it difficult to ask for help. Yet we need help. Asking for help from caring people can make a big difference in your working through your grief. Force yourself to reach out for help.
This is just a few observations we have made throughout our years. If you would like to write and share your observations or awarenesses please e-mail us.
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